Heartbreak or heartache, one of life’s most difficult problems is also one of the most difficult to treat with the Emotional Freedom Technique. Whenever a client says they are feeling heartbroken, you can almost bank on the SUDS level being at least a 9 but it’s most likely off the charts. Like being pregnant, nobody I’ve ever worked with has ever been just a little heartbroken. Losing a love is one of the hardest things for a person to experience. You can get heartache relief but it will take some work on your part.
Heartbreak is a mixture of feelings and emotions that meld into a deep, dark despair that does not go away quickly. While you are experiencing it, it feels like it will never go away ever. No two people’s reactions to heartache are the same. Every case heartbreak is difficult in its own unique way so there isn’t a standard way to go about treating it. EFT will definitely help but there aren’t likely to be many one-minute wonders when it comes to treating heartbreak.
Heartbreak encompasses, among other things, loss of love, friendship, companionship, touch, pleasure and hope. One also experiences the loss of an expected future. Heartbreak completely changes the roadmap one was using to guide their life. Actually, it totally shatters the roadmap along with the life.
It’s horrible if it’s sudden and out of the blue. It’s only slightly better when it’s been a long time coming and inevitable as in a drawn out breakup. In drawn out, inevitable break ups, the heartache is sometimes balanced by a feeling of relief because the hovering axe has finally fallen.
On the SUDS scale, tapping will not take heartache from a 10 to a 1. What is most likely to happen is that tapping on heartache will initiate a process whereby one can unravel, examine and tap out all the components of the problem. One may start with heartache being a 10 but as the feeling is tapped, the heartache changes to sadness, anger, despair, loneliness or just about any other feeling.
Whatever feeling arises needs to be treated. Don’t skip treating any feeling just because it seems trivial or doesn’t seem like the right feeling or the crucial feeling. If it comes up, it came up for a reason. Treat it then and there. What seems like an unimportant or trivial feeling may mushroom into something much deeper and more significant as you tap on it. But if you tried tapping on the deeper issue right away, you’d feel overwhelmed.
Treating heartache and heartbreak almost always requiring a lot of tapping on forgiveness issues. I had one client that spent a lot of time working on forgiveness for his friends who knew the girl he was dating was sleeping around but didn’t say anything. He also had to tap on forgiving the one friend who did tell him about his roaming girlfriend. Then he had to tap on forgiving himself for chewing out his friend for telling him such preposterous lies. Then he had to tap out feelings of regret for not believing his friend who had never lied to him before and didn’t lie to him then either. Forgiving his ex didn’t even come up until a later session.
Time is also needed when dealing with heartbreak. It’s not the time is the healer, either. What I’ve seen is that clients will be doing fine after a break up and then “their song” will come on the radio which triggers some buried feelings. The anniversary of their first date or the passing of a weekend where they were supposed to go away together may also put them in a funk that requires tapping.
In addition to tapping, you need to be patient when going through heartbreak. You will get better but it isn’t going to happen overnight. Unfortunately there is no magic pill, silver bullet or “easy” button to help you get through it.
EFT is definitely useful for finding relief from heartache and heartbreak but it’s probably not going to be an easy or quick treatment. But it will help you get better faster than doing nothing which is a much worse alternative.
For more information about how to do EFT, read, Transform Your Life With EFT
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